I don't believe that I have ever experienced such a roller coaster of emotions as I did in the week that has just concluded. It's been a week full of hurt and hope, disappointment and decision-making, of questioning and prioritizing my beliefs and the way I live. The weird thing is some of this had nothing to do with Mexico.
I left here with no expectation, except that I wanted to help someone. I wasn't sure what Mexico had in store for me. I knew I would shed tears because I often refer to myself as "a big baby" …although it is nice when others make me feel better by using the term "compassionate." I have returned with a heart that has been crushed by the ungratefulness that the majority of us have in our lives. We usually turn our words around to say we are blessed, when we really have way more then we could ever need, myself included.
We built a house that a mother, daughter, and granddaughter would all live in (and possibly at times other family members) the size of which, most of us would build in our backyard to hold tools or a lawnmower. The mother is a diabetic that cannot afford any medicine, and she already had to have a toe removed because of her health, yet she was up on her feet continually gathering food, cleaning buckets and dishes to fix us a meal. I believe she had two chickens in the cage when we arrived and after the meal she only had one. It made me feel as if she was breaking out the china or opening some vintage bottle of wine….not that we were Jesus, but it seemed as if Irma was having a "Mary moment" except you couldn't find any Martha's around to complain or question what she was doing.
Several years ago I was asked if I grew up poor, because a church I attended was taking a youth group to my hometown to give away clothes and toys. I continue to run into people that still take groups there to reach out to people. I'm positive that I had everything I needed as a child. I may have even had everything I wanted, but don't recall really wanting much. I rarely remember anyone in my school that I considered "poor". After this visit to Mexico I can safely say I have seen what poverty is and the truth of the matter is it's probably not the worst place in the world.
I remember last year in New York City trying to give a man that was sleeping on the sidewalk a blanket and him turning it down saying it would be too hot. I began to think the man was just lazy and didn't want to carry it around because although it may have been warm that night, December was only a few weeks away. That same man would be grateful to find a sidewalk or a patch of grass in a park to lay on in Reynosa. The streets of Reynosa aren't streets; they are more like post-apocalyptic wastelands. The wind constantly blows dust and dirt in your eyes, there is no such thing as a right of way, and when you hear the loudspeakers blaring in the streets you don't see children running to buy ice cream (which we deem a necessity at times) but someone "selling" water from a truck where people don't have any. "SELLING" water! Enough said.
I love this excerpt from Rob Bell when speaking about poverty and the church's response to it:
I think that we have been blessed beyond measure, and if we don't give it away and steward it well, our own souls are going to shrivel up. This is about the state of our own souls. According to Jesus' teachings, we're in trouble if we hog it or keep it to ourselves.
The bible contains 2103 verses on the poor and oppressed. This is how Jesus began his first sermon: 'I've been anointed to preach the good news to the poor.' God is with the poor; we're with God when we're with the poor.
God has no interest in us building our empires.
While I'm not a "relevant" fan of Rob Bell (what I really mean to say is…I have read more than Velvet Elvis, or any Donald Miller book) I have to agree with Mr. Bell on this point. I've changed the way I view many things after seeing what other's "lack".
As stated in the beginning, before I stepped foot across the border the message given at the camp on Sunday night helped me change my view on something that I had been having a hard time with. This same thing happened on the way home while listening to a random podcast. These things had nothing to do with missions, serving the poor, or mexico….but I believe by being obedient and going on this trip some of my questions were answered. I didn't consider it when I felt prompted to sign up and go on the trip….but for whatever reason my heart is saying this isn't over....or i'm missing something....i can't put my finger on it. I'm not sure if it's with Reynosa, or Mexico in general. I'm not sure if it's with Mission Discovery. It may be something else entirely that I'm not realizing yet.
Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God, your God's, blessing in everything you do, all your work and ventures. There are always going to be poor and needy people among you. So I command you: Always be generous, open purse and hands, give to your neighbors in trouble, your poor and hurting neighbors. Deut. 15:10-11 (Message)
